As we are closing the semester, I thought that it would be interesting to post part of an interview I have been working on for my parenting class. It has some fun insight to what parenting is like.

Laura: Describe cultural attitudes and beliefs toward child rearing at the time your children were born. This would include "right" way to discipline or feed the child as well as general idea about mothers' and fathers' roles and the importance of children to families and society. Who were prominent psychologists and pediatricians at the time (ex: Dr. Spock) and what did they have to say about parenting? How much of their advice and recommendations did you agree with?
Nancy: When our kids were born,(1980's), there was a movement towards "soft discipline," less physical punishment like spanking, and more logical consequences for inappropriate behavior. Time out became very popular, as well as boosting children's self esteem by "catching them being good," or redirecting their behavior by telling them what you wanted them to do, instead of punishing them for bad behavior. The idea was sound, but some parents & teachers took it too far, and there were many kids who grew up without behavioral boundaries, and so became difficult to handle, disrespectful of adults, and generally very self centered. Working moms were more acceptable, so more children grew up in day cares than in the last generation. Unfortunately, most daycare then was not as regulated as today, and providers didn't have to have any training in child development or nutrition, & they didn't have to provide much for activities or education; their homes were just inspected for safety. Fathers were taking a more active role in their children's' lives at that time though, so that was a positive aspect of more moms working.

Diets for children became healthier, less carbs and fatty foods, more fruits & vegetables. The idea of fat babies being healthy babies was changing, and more research had been done showing how what children ate directly affected their health as adults (duh!) Took the experts a long time to figure that one out! So overall, nutrition improved, and children were encouraged to be physically more active.

Dr Spock was still popular, although there were a lot of other parenting experts putting out books at that time. Most of them advocated the same ideas I talked about above.There was also a trend toward re-examining the child development stages from long ago experts like Piaget. Pediatricians were also becoming more popular than family practice doctors, though I trusted our family doctor, and generally followed his advice. Most of my parenting practices came from what I learned in college about child development, and in working with regular & special needs children for 10 years before becoming a parent, and of course from my parents.

Laura:What kind of prenatal care and preparation was prescribed? What was the fathers' role in birth preparation? How much did you and your spouse talk about your new role, and what
did you talk about? What concerns did you have during pregnancy? Did you go through any stages in adapting to pregnancy or the idea of being a parent?
Nancy: My doctor was concerned that I eat right, take prenatal vitamins, & stay active, and of course watch my weight. I saw him every month for checkups, and with Jenni had ultrasounds several times because we were watching to see if a fibroid tumor was going to interfere with my pregnancy, (it didn't). Mike went to some of my appointments, and we took a birthing class. Fathers were much more involved in the whole process than my father was expected to be. We talked alot about what kind of parents we hoped to be (not like our parents!), about child care, and expenses. You go through alot of stages while pregnant, the morning sickness & cravings, the tiredness, then lots of energy & excitement during the middle months. The last 3 months you feel unattractive & huge, you're tired & moody, you can't wait for it to be over, and of course you're scared about what the birth will really be like. I drove my doctor crazy because being a special ed teacher I knew too much about birth defects & birth injuries, but he was very patient & reassuring, and we had the ultrasound pictures to show that everything was going fine.

Laura: What methods of discipline seemed appropriate for different ages? Was discipline different for each child?

Nancy: We tried not to be our parents as far as discipline went, but occasionally did fall into those roles because that was what we knew. We wanted to have the respect & cooperation of our children, but didn't want them to be afraid of us. We tried to give them choices, and tried to pick our battles, but we didn't put up with much disrespect or acting out. We used time out,(ALOT), and often got into yelling matches,but very seldom spanked. Both our kids were very different to discipline, Jenni was generally easier, but Jon fought us on every issue, so we were often tougher with Jon. We don't know if we made the right decisions, but did what we thought best in each situation.

Laura: Do you talk to your children about sex and birth? Beginning when? Who initiates conversation? How does your attitude toward sex differ from your parents?

Nancy: We do talk about sex & birth because we feel our kids can make better decisions if they have as much information as possible. Usually the kids initiated by asking questions about things they didn't understand, but when they started dating, we talked about behavior, responsibility, & birth control. My mom gave me a book about menstruation when I started & said if I had any questions, I could ask our doctor. We had a sex ed class when I was in middle school, but my parents didn't want to discuss anything about it, except to say DON'T have sex! I went to Catholic school, and we were taught that even to think about sex before marriage was a sin, and that sex was only for the procreation of children.My mom added that sex was only good for men, and all women got out of it was children. It's a wonder I ever wanted to have sex! Hope my kids have a healthier attitude about it all.

Laura: How did your child's temperament affect your parenting? What impact did any differences between your children's temperaments have on child rearing? Have these influences led you to question tat parents are responsible
for how their children turn out? Explain...
Nancy: You think as parents that you will treat your children the same, but that's impossible to do since they are very different and unique people, even though they start with the same genes. Of course we disciplined them differently. Jenni was easier to handle, and played us well, whereas Jon fought us on everything & seldom compromised about what he wanted. Jenni was a little moodier, and didn't act out much. Jon was ADHD & acted out on every inpulse that came into his head. We were much tougher with him, but tried to be fair with both. Mike & I also have quick tempers, and often got caught up in the moment, so there was a lot of yelling, something we had both grown up with & tried not to do to our children.We also didn't spank or hit like our parents had. We tried never to bully them , or ignore their feelings on any issue, but were pretty firm on what we expected as far as appropriate behavior. We were never afraid to take them out in public, because we knew they would be good, ( or we would take them home). I think both kids grew up to be good people, respectful of themselves & others. As a parent, you do the best with the resources you have, the same as our parents did at the time.

Laura: When should parents step in and give advice to their children about their friends? What differences in behavior (good or bad) have you observed in your children who have "best friends?" That is, how do peers influence your child's behavior?

Nancy: We were pretty lucky as far as the friends our children chose, so we seldom had to step in. Occasionally there was someone who didn't seem to be a good friend, but we didn't forbid the kids to spend time with them, but did agree with them whenever they complained, to confirm that maybe they weren't the best choice of friend. They eventually figured out for themselves who was worth their friendship. Both kids at times followed a friend in doing something they shouldn't, but it was never anything too serious, and they lived to learn from it. Peers definitely shape children's lives because they have more in common with your kids than you do. You can only hope to know who these kids are, welcome them into your home. let them know you're around, and try to know where your children are & what they're doing. A small town has a great network of parents & teachers who can be your eyes & ears when your kids are away from home. If kids know the community is watching, and know these people know their parents, kids less likely to do something they shouldn't.

Laura: Who makes the rules in your house? Why are household rules made (what is their purpose)? What are some specific rules that are particularly important, and how are they enforced or encouraged?
Nancy: Mike & I try to make the rules together, though in some situations, one of us is gone, & the other has to make a quick decision. Generally we support each other's decisions, but not always. We tried not to let the kids play us against each other, but of course they did, and sometimes it took us awhile to catch on to what they were doing! Most of our rules concerned safety, time allowed away from home like curfews, responsibilities like taking care of themselves & their things, getting homework done, household chores, etc.

When they were young, we used time out, when older they were sent to their rooms (still timeout), grounded, or denied privileges. We did yell a lot, but tried not to hurt the kids' feelings, or to be physical with them.

Laura: What are the most important values and morals that you wish the child to leave home with?
Nancy: Be respectful - of yourself first, your family & friends, other people, your possessions, your environment. Always know that your words & actions have consequences, and once out there, you can't take them back. Do your best to be a good person, and make a better world. Try to be happy & live a constructive life.

Also, when doing some research, I thought that these myths were quite funny. These were also found on WebMD. I think that many people don’t think about these kinds of things, but many people do. I chose this one, mainly because it’s funny, but I do think that some of it is informative. So, enjoy!!

Sex and Pregnancy Myths

Pregnancy Myths: Keep Your Fingers Crossed, or Your Legs?

One pregnancy myth many teens believe is "if I don’t ejaculate inside the vagina, you won’t get pregnant." Or "If I pull out, or just put it in a few times, you won’t get pregnant."

Wrong. Did you know there is such a thing as pre-ejaculation? It's fluid that seeps out of the penis before the guy ejaculates. This fluid contains sperm, and the sperm are going to do whatever they can to get to the egg. If any semen is present around the penis and it comes in contact with any part of the vaginal area, there is a risk of pregnancy.

Some couples use the "rhythm method" of birth control, where they try to have sex only during "safe" periods of the female’s monthly menstrual cycle. Unfortunately, there is still a high risk of pregnancy. There is also a risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD), since you're still having unprotected sex.

There are many more sex and pregnancy myths out there. Here are a few of the most common. Sure, some of them might be funny, but it’s always surprising what some people actually believe:

Pregnancy Myth: Having sex standing up prevents you from getting pregnant.

Reality: False. Having vaginal sex in any position carries the risk of pregnancy.

Pregnancy Myth: If a girl does "jumping jacks" after sex, she won’t get pregnant.

Reality: False. You can jump up and down all you want, but if one sperm makes contact with one egg, bingo: someone’s pregnant.

Pregnancy Myth: If a girl doesn’t have an orgasm, she won’t get pregnant.

Reality: False. Female orgasms have no bearing on whether an egg can be fertilized.

Pregnancy Myth : Having sex in water prevents you from getting pregnant.

Reality: False again! Any sperm contact with the vagina increases your risk of getting pregnant. If the water temperature is proper, sperm can survive outside the body for several minutes. Many babies are born about nine months after a guy and girl had sex while swimming around in a lake or the ocean.

Pregnancy Myth: A girl can’t get pregnant if she has sex while on her period.

Reality: Again, untrue. Remember, a sperm can survive for up to a week inside the female.

Pregnancy Myth: Douching or washing my vagina out after sex will prevent me from getting pregnant.

Reality: Nope. Remember, sperm are designed to do one thing – fertilize the egg. Even washing thoroughly after sex does not prevent you from becoming pregnant.

Pregnancy: Weight Gain During Pregnancy

Gaining the right amount of weight during pregnancy by eating a healthy, balanced diet is a good sign that your baby is getting all the nutrients he or she needs and is growing at a healthy rate.

It is not necessary to "eat for two" during pregnancy. It's true that you need extra calories from nutrient-rich foods to help your baby grow, but you generally need to consume only 100 to 300 more calories than you did before you became pregnant to meet the needs of your growing baby.

Ask your health care provider how much weight you should gain during pregnancy. A woman of average weight before pregnancy should gain 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy. Underweight women should gain 28-40 pounds during pregnancy. Overweight women may need to gain only 15-25 pounds during pregnancy. You may need to gain more or less weight, depending on what your health care provider recommends.

In general, you should gain about 2 to 4 pounds during your first three months of pregnancy and 1 pound a week for the remainder of your pregnancy. If you are expecting twins you should gain 35 to 45 pounds during your pregnancy. This would be an average of 1 ½ pounds per week after the usual weight gain in the first three months.

Where Does the Extra Weight Go?

Baby	8 pounds
Placenta	2-3 pounds
Amniotic fluid	2-3 pounds
Breast tissue	2-3 pounds
Blood supply	4 pounds
Fat stores for delivery and breastfeeding	5-9 pounds
Uterus increase	2-5 pounds
Total	25 to 35 pounds

Is It Safe to Lose Weight During Pregnancy?

No. It is never safe to lose weight during pregnancy -- both you and your baby need the proper nutrients in order to be healthy.

How Can I Gain the Appropriate Amount of Weight During Pregnancy

If your health care provider recommends gaining more weight during pregnancy, here are some suggestions:

• Eat five to six small, frequent meals every day.
• Keep quick, easy snacks on hand, such as nuts, raisins, cheese and crackers, dried fruit, and ice cream/yogurt.
• Spread peanut butter on toast, crackers, apples, bananas, or celery. One tablespoon of creamy peanut butter will provide about 100 calories and seven grams of protein.
• Add nonfat powdered milk to foods such as mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs and hot cereal.
• Add condiments to your meal, such as butter or margarine, cream cheese, gravy, sour cream and cheese.

What Should I Do If I Gain Too Much Weight?

It’s important to keep track of your overall weight gain during pregnancy; the amount of weight you need to gain depends on your weight when you became pregnant.

Too much weight gain during pregnancy can increase the risk of having a large baby or early delivery. According to the March of Dimes, if you were overweight when you became pregnant you should gain only about 15-20 pounds. The March of Dimes adds that while gaining too much weight is not something you want to do during pregnancy, “you should never try to lose weight during pregnancy because that could harm your baby.”

Be sure to eat a variety of foods to get all the nutrients you and your baby need. Here are some tips to slow your weight gain:

• When eating out at a fast food restaurant, choose lower fat items such as broiled chicken breast sandwich with tomato and lettuce (no sauce or mayonnaise), side salad with low-fat dressing, plain bagels or a plain baked potato. Avoid fried foods such as French fries, mozzarella sticks or breaded chicken patties.
• Avoid whole milk products. You need at least four servings of milk products every day. However, using skim, 1% or 2% milk will greatly reduce the amount of calories and fat you eat. Also choose low-fat or fat-free cheese or yogurt.
• Limit sweet or sugary drinks. Sweetened drinks such as soft drinks, fruit punch, fruit drinks, iced tea, lemonade or powdered drink mixes provide many calories with little nutrients. Choose water, club soda, or mineral water to avoid extra calories.
• Do not add salt to foods when cooking. Salt causes your body to retain water.
• Limit sweets and high calorie snacks. Cookies, candies, donuts, cakes, syrup, honey and potato chips provide many calories with little nutrition. Try not to eat these types of foods every day. Instead, try fresh fruit, low-fat yogurt, angel food cake with strawberries, or pretzels as lower calorie snack and dessert choices.
• Use fats in moderation. Fats include cooking oils, margarine, butter, gravy, sauces, mayonnaise, regular salad dressings, sauces, lard, sour cream and cream cheese. Try the lower fat substitutes that are available for these foods.
• Prepare meals using low-fat cooking methods. Frying foods in oil or butter will increase the calories and fat of that meal. Baking, broiling or boiling are healthier, lower fat methods of cooking.

Exercise. Moderate exercise, as recommended by your health care provider, can help burn excess calories. Walking or swimming is generally safe, effective exercises for pregnant women. But, be sure to talk to your health care provider before starting an exercise program

After I was reviewing my blog posts, I realized that I have nothing about signs of pregnancy. I think that this could be helpful for couples trying to get pregnant as well as people that are having an unplanned pregnancy land in their lap. On WebMD I found this list.

Pregnancy: Am I Pregnant?

If you're unusually tuned into your body, you might begin to suspect that you're pregnant within the first few days of pregnancy. But, most women don't suspect they are pregnant until they miss a period, and a few don't suspect or believe they are pregnant for months after conception.

Here are 5 common signs of early pregnancy. You may experience all, some or none of these symptoms.

1. A Missed Period. Missing your period is the most clear-cut sign of pregnancy. But it is not definitive, as stress or other factors may cause irregular periods.
2. Frequent Trips to the Bathroom. Even before missing a period, most pregnant women report having to go to the bathroom more often. You may even have to get up during the night! This occurs after the embryo has implanted in the uterus and begins producing the pregnancy hormone called human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG). This hormone triggers frequent urination.
3. Fatigue. Utter exhaustion is a very early sign of pregnancy. Fatigue is a result of high levels of the hormone progesterone.
4. Morning (and Noon and Night!) Sickness. Guess what? That queasy feeling isn't limited to mornings. Most pregnant women who experience morning sickness feel slightly nauseated at other times during the day as well. About half have vomiting, but very few have severe enough morning sickness to develop dehydration and malnutrition.
5. Sore (and Enlarged) Breasts. If you're pregnant, your breasts will probably become increasingly tender to the touch, similar to the way they feel before your period, only more so. Once your body grows accustomed to the increase in hormones, the pain will subside.

If you have any of the above symptoms, consider taking a pregnancy test as soon as possible.

Managing morning sickness

For many women, the toughest part of early pregnancy is morning sickness. If you are suffering from nausea, vomiting, or both, you need safe measures that will bring you some relief. Your best course of action for managing morning sickness is home treatment. By following a few proven guidelines, you are likely to gain significant relief from nausea and vomiting. Home treatment measures for morning sickness include:

• Changing what, when, and how much you eat.
• Taking ginger, vitamin B₆, or vitamin B₁₂, which are known to reduce nausea and/or vomiting during pregnancy.
• Avoiding foods and smells that make you feel sick.
• Trying acupressure, which seems to work for some women.
• Taking doxylamine with vitamin B₆, which you can buy without a prescription. Talk to your health professional before taking this remedy.

If you have severe, persistent nausea and vomiting, see your doctor or nurse-midwife immediately. This uncommon complication of pregnancy can lead to dehydration and malnutrition, sometimes requiring prescribed medication or hospitalization.

http://www.webmd.com/baby/default.htm

Gosh, the more we are supposed to write in our blogs, the more I become blank as to what to write about. The girls I nanny for are now six months old, which means that they are eating normal baby food and discovering many new things about themselves everyday. On Wednesday we are going to JCPenny's for the girl's six month pictures. I am so excited to get to dress them and help make them smile for the camera. Throughout many of my human development classes I have learned a lot about how humans develop as well as being a parent. I am learning what a huge decision this is. I feel like it is something that people really look over and don’t always think seriously about. There are many young people having sex and then the child is the one who ends up paying the price for not always having a great childhood. I learned that on average raising a child that is born in 2007 until he/she is 18 years old, they will cost $250,000. I am sure that is not something most people think about. Babies not only require your time, energy, love, support, discipline, structure, books, toys and your undivided attention, but lots and lots of money. This can be a really scary thing for low income parents or even worse a single parent. Let alone, a single woman. Women don’t make as much money as men do and they end up being stretched in many directions. I do think that there are many resources for low income families here in Fort Collins, but what I really think parents need is information as well as support. I have found a few websites that might answer a few common questions parents often have.

http://www.tnpc.com/

http://www.parenthood.com/

http://www.ehow.com/how_2426_care-infant-after.html

Throughout this last week of babysitting I am realizing how fast children grow up. I have always wondered about their patterns, when they do what developmentally and when they do things such as start eating real food. The girls I nanny are beginning to eat sweet potatoes and baby cereal. I found some websites about general developmental progress that babies go through. Children generally start teething anywhere from five months to eight months, start eating real food around six months, and start talking around one year old. Really, the development changes from child to child. There is so much information available on the web as well as in books as to what parents will expect of there children.
http://www.edu-cyberpg.com/Teachers/Time.html
http://health.discovery.com/centers/kids/timeline/timeline.html

All I can say for this week is that it was very uneventful! The girl's sleeping and eating patterns are changing, which makes things a little more stressful, but other than that things are the same. I work anywhere from five hours to twelve, so I can have a little extra cash rolling around. I will begin looking for a new job next week because my schedule will change as well as the girl's parents. Their mother works and their father is a student in college. I am sad to be leaving this job, but am excited for what is to come. I think that even know I love children so much I am going to look for something else. I have been taking care of kids for as long as I can remember and I am getting somewhat burnt out. When I have children I want to be excited about raising them and I want to have not spent all my energy on other peoples children. Anyway, I love my job and the twins are great! They are getting really big, which makes it a little harder for me to haul them places, but it's making my arms a lot stronger! It is amazing how fast they grow out of their clothing. One of the twins (Kate) is about two pounds heavier than the other one(Jami), so when Kate grows out of her clothes they fit Jami, so this works out for the parents. All in all, life is good and I am getting excited for the semester to be over!

This week of being a nanny has been so much fun. I absolutely love when babies are learning and developing. One thing that is hard for me is the fact that their sleeping and eating patterns change so much. Both of the girls are rolling over from front to back as well as back to front. This is exciting for them. I am learning that kids develop at different times and watching this with twins has been really fun to watch. I have recently been learning more and more about the importance of breastfeeding as well as breast pumps. Breastfeeding provides numerous benefits for the baby as well as the mother. During breastfeeding there is a hormone called prolactin, which creates a calming effect and helps to maintain milk production. On one of the sites I found, it said that breastfed infants are less susceptible to illness and tend to recover sooner than formula fed babies. Mothers who breastfeed tend to have less of a likelihood of things like ovarian cancer. http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/food/infants/breast_bottle_feeding.html
http://rehydrate.org/breastfeed/index.html. These websites are credible and have much information about breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. There are some reasons that women cannot breastfeed, and they will turn out just fine, but in general a baby who has been breastfed tends to have a few more benefits. In looking through all of these sites, I have found that breastfeeding tends to have greater benefits for the mother as well as the baby, but in one of my classes my Professor says it really doesn't matter, so I am at a loss. I have learned a lot and I think that every parent should look into sites like these to better take care of themselves as well as their child.